


Love me Harder

by Fyahlord



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: AU, Angst, College student Laura, Hollstein - Freeform, Multi, Prostitute AU, Sex, Smut, hooker carmilla
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 20:00:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3221558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fyahlord/pseuds/Fyahlord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Holy shit, so this happening’<br/>If someone was to ask how I expected my evening to go this would never have crossed my mind. But here I was standing awkwardly in a motel room, not alone. ‘I should have stayed home with my coco and Dr Who reruns’</p><p>After spending the night together, Laura cannot stop thinking about the mysterious brunette, and it turns out the other woman is also having the same problem.<br/>Prostitute Carmilla Au</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> um yeah ahahah, this is my first time writing smut so it probs suck ahaha (sorry), but I'll try to improve, anyways I will continue updating my other fics as well, you can check them out if you haven't read them yet (that is if you want to ahahha). Um yeah so hope you nejoy, I will post TW before each chapter :) leave comment or suggestion if you want
> 
> Disclaimer 
> 
> Do not own Carmilla or any of the characters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Heyo, so ive editted this chapter due to some comments say Carmilla was too nasty and unprofessional, which yeah I can kind of agree with  
> I've tried to keep with the same tone, but also tried to represent Carmilla as a sex worker in a better light. I have kept some of her attitude though, because I still want to keep with the character of carmilla, and lets face shes not the nicest person. But i have cut out sections of her insulting laura, and made her much more empathetic   
> Hope you enjoy it :)

“So are you just going to stand there or are you going to come join me cupcake”

 

‘Holy shit, so this happening’

If someone was to ask how I expected my evening to go this would never have crossed my mind. But here I was standing awkwardly in a motel room, not alone. ‘I should have stayed home with my coco and Dr Who reruns’

She’s beautiful, that kind of beautiful that makes your heart sped up yet stop at the same time, the kind of beautiful that make your palms sweat and mouth go dry. She’s lying on the bed, lazily draped across it like a cat, her piercing dark eyes leering at me. Her shirt is black and ripped and her leather pants cling to her skin, giving me the prefect view of her shapely ass. ‘Oh god Laura stop staring’

When I do not move, she slowly crosses the room towards me. “Look if you’re feeling uncomfortable we don’t have to do this” she says softly, her tone caring, but also slightly sounding rehearsed.   
“No no, I… just give me a sec” I gulp, trying to gain my bearings.   
She smiles and puts her hands up, moving back towards the bed “All good I’ll just be over here when you’re ready to come join me, I’ll give you a night you’ll never forget cutie”.

The words thank you pops into my head, god that would sound so awkward and desperate, I internally berate myself.   
I open my mouth to say something but cannot find the words to say, instead I walk towards the bed, slowly, my stomach is doing flip flops, but I walk with a purpose, my confidence growing. Her eyes which were once soft, and caring are now sharp and fixated on me, like a predator watching its prey… I kinda like it.   
I plop down onto the bed and she slinks towards me on all fours, shoulders shifting up and down like a lion or a panther. ‘Oh god it looks like she going to eat me….. wait that sounded dirty’

“Hey” she whispers in my ear, hands wrapping around my shoulders, fingers dancing across my collar bone. At her touch every muscle in my body tightens and I can feel my body aching, but god it is a good ache. I feel myself leaning to her touch, her hot breath hitting the back of my neck. “H-how old are you” I ask, she barely looks older than a teenager. “Old enough” she answers her tongue meeting my neck and slowly trailing up it. Suddenly something over comes me and I find myself grabbing her, flipping her onto her back and pinning her hands above her head. She lets out a pained groan as her head hits the bedhead and I immediately fly off her. “Oh crap, I am so sorry, are you okay?” I bumble out an apology, and the seductive/impressed smirk falls from her face.

“It’s okay, just ya know, my head” she jokes, trying to lighten the mood, its helping, as I once again feel the confidence growing.   
“How about I take the lead” she suggests, waiting for my confirmation. I just nod silently ‘Yes please take the lead’ I think ‘I have no idea what I’m doing’.   
“Alright lie down on your back” she says. I don’t need to be told twice, as I quickly flop down into the submissive position.   
“Someone is keen” she husked, straddling my hips.   
‘Oh god this is so fucked up’ I thought, was I taking advantage of her? I mean technically I was the one pinned to the bed, but I did pay her to do these things, well my friends did. ‘I’m going to kill LaFontaine and Kirsch tomorrow morning’.

“I’m sorry, I’ve never… I never well you know”

“Had sex? … no offence but yeah, I could kinda tell”. Now her smile was well… a little patronizing, it made me feel a little self-conscious… maybe, maybe I should leave, but I didn’t.   
Instead I just lay underneath her, mouth opened like a goldfish. ‘God I must look like an idiot’.

Was this really how I wanted to lose my virginity? In some crummy motel room, with some random woman my friends picked up outside a bar. God it sounded even more awful when I thought about. So making up my mind I was about to tell her that this was over and I didn’t want to continue. But then she took her shirt off.

‘Jesus’ my mind thought as she flung her shirt across the room, my eyes fixated on her prefect pale skin and abs. “Like something?” she smirks, and my hands flew to her waist, greedily taking in as much skin I could. She let out a sigh and I could feel my underwear dampen as she slowly started gyrating her hips.   
“I want you” I murmur, I could barely get the words out. “Fuck me”.   
“Off” she growled, fingers pulling the buttons of my blouse. She threw that across the room and stop moving, just staring down at me. “Wow” she whispers eying me up and down, for the first time, sounding vulnerable. She stares at me for a while, eyes wide… its actually kind of cute.   
“You’re beautiful”  
The was a beat of silence between us, neither us moved or spoke. Oh god did I want to kiss her.   
“Um I mean, far better than all those 50-year-old men, with hairy chests and moobs, you cupcake are a shining diamond amongst dirt, now take that off also” she demanded, pointing at my simple white bra, completely breaking our moment. With shaky but eager hands I unclasped it, slowly pulling it over my head. Her breath hitched and I felt my cheeks go red. “Fuck, you are beautiful” she mumbles again. Her eyes dropped slightly and once again that shy and vulnerable look crosses her face. 

“Uh t-thanks”

She didn’t seem to hear me, instead I felt her tongue on my stomach. I let out a sharp breath, as she slowly trailed her tongue up my body, before reaching my breasts and latching on to my nipple. “Jesus” I whispered as her tongue moved across my nipple and felt the pressure of her teeth lightly biting. My hands clasped onto her back, ripping off her black lacy bra, and clawing at her skin. She groaned and I could feel her smiling against me. “I want to taste you” she rasped in my ear. “Then fuck me” I growled, shocking myself with my sudden demand, but it made her smile grow wider. “Buckle up cupcake” she whispered, as she slowly undid my pants and pulled down my underwear.

“Oh God” I moaned as I felt her tongue teasing against me. Stroking across my clit, licking, sucking, and playing with every inch of me. They never really teach you much about sex in high school, only what its purpose is and how to avoid unwanted pregnancies and diseases. My hands twisted in her wild black hair, as I felt her tongue inside of me. 

“Oh fuck”

I felt like my body was on fire, but in a good way, if that makes sense. It’s funny how we taught to be ashamed of our sexual desires, how sex was something sacred, shared only between a married man and woman. But in that moment all taboos flew out window.

“I think I’m gonna-“

My grip on her hair tightened as my orgasm peeked and it was like everything was flying away and she and I were the only things left. I let out a breathy moan of ecstasy as I cummed and suddenly felt very tired, but more alive and wired than ever.

“Fuck” she smirked head popping back up. Her shit eating grin widened as she looked down at my panting body. “Dam cupcake, don’t going dying on me now, we’ve barely even started”

What have I gotten myself into?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw, assault and violence   
> talks of sex   
> alcohol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any grammatical problems tell me :) I'll fix them :)

**She left before I got up.**

**No note.**

**No goodbye.**

**The money I left for her was still there and the memory of the night before still on the sheets.**

**She was gone before the sun even came up.**

**I had never felt so lonely in my life.**

 

* * *

 

“So how was it?” Lafontaine asked with a coy smirk, they had been following me around the Uni cafeteria all morning, it was starting to get annoying. I had said nothing so far, and was trying my best to ignore them, but their constant eyebrow waggling was starting to get under my skin. I was slowly cracking. I really wish Perry would hurry up, and provide some distraction for them.

“How was what?” I replied, trying to sound oblivious and uninterested, but my cheeks were burning. Dead give-away.

“Don’t play dumb with me Hollis, spill I want to know everything…. For scientific reasons of course” They were persistent, I’ll give them that.

‘What was I to say? Be blunt about it? Hey Laf well she fucked me…. it was great. Or be sappy and poetic about? It was the most amazing feeling, It was like my whole body was on fire, I’ve never felt more alive, my heart aches that it is now over and I’ll probably never see her again…… I mean technically they were both true’.

“Sweetie leave her alone” scolded Perry, coming up behind them, hugging them around the waist.  ‘Oh thank god’. Laf opened their mouth about to argue, but Perry flashed them a glare and they shut it immediately.

We all had breakfast together at the Caf most mornings, sometimes Kirsch would join us if he wasn’t sleeping in or at the gym. Breakfast was nice, Laf kept smirking at me, but didn’t bring it up again. ‘Note to self be extra nice to Perry today’.

I felt my mind drifting to the night before, drowning out Perry’s nagging about eating a healthy balanced breakfast. Instead I could hear the sound of a throaty whisper in my ear, feel smooth pale skin pressing and rubbing against mine, my fingers could still feel the softness of her raven hair. I closed my eyes and I could see her face, feel her mouth kissing every inch of me.

“Mmmmmm”

……

“Uh Laura”

I quickly opened my eyes to see Laf’s face only and inch away from mine. “ARH, what the hell” I shrieked reeling back, and people close by looked at me.

“Dude you were drooling….. And moaning, really loudly” they giggled hysterically, even Perry looked like she was about to join in.

‘Ugh I hate them’.

 

**Around 9:30 am**

 

After breakfast English lit, which meant I got to see Danny. Danny was well…. My crush. From the moment I saw her I liked her. Do you ever look at someone and think that they are unfairly attractive? Well Danny was one of those people (and so was… actually never mind, let’s not think about her). Danny, well she’s tall, like crazy tall (or maybe I’m just super short) with long copper red hair, and did I mention she is beautiful, because she is. And a total badass.

“Hey Laura” Danny greeted me with a bright smile as I walked into class.

“Hi Danny!”…. ‘Ugh I sounded way too excited, she probably thinks I’m weird’.

“Ready to kick this practice essay’s ass” she asked, her goofy cute smile still present. God it was adorable.

“Hells yeah I am”

She had been tutoring me for the past few weeks, and I my marks have greatly improved, I have never felt so confident in a class. “I guess all that studying together is starting to pay off” she said softly as the professor walked in. “Good luck” she whispered in my ear. Dam why did she have to do that, now that’s all I’m going to think about, at least it will help me stop thinking about something else.

“Thanks” I choked out, and she gave me an encouraging thumbs up before returning to her desk.

The practice essay was simple enough, hopefully the exam would be like this. I finished with about ten minutes left, so I plenty of time to proof read. When the class ended the professor and Danny collected everyone’s papers and we were told the marks would be given out on Friday.

“Hey Laura” called Danny, just I walked out of the classroom. In two strides she was next to me.

“Yeah Danny?”

“I was wondering, what are you doing tonight, because me and some of the summer society girls were thinking of heading down to The BlackWolf and I wondered if you wanted to join us?”

The BlackWolf was a local bar, about 5 minutes away from the University, you could practically walk to it.  The original building was built in the 1900s and was used as a Speak easy during the 20s, after probation was abolished it became The BlackWolf Bar. It was a pretty dingy place now a days, but it was pretty popular amongst us Uni students.

“Yeah I’d lov- I’d liked that, um can I invite my friends?”

A brief look of disappointment washed over Danny’s face, but she quickly covered it with a smile. “Sure the more the merrier, just don’t invite that Kirsch guy, dude drives me up the wall”.

Everyone at the University knew about the rivalry between the Zeta Bros and Summer Society girls. But things were particularly bad between Danny and Kirsch. It was usually pretty entertaining to watch them go off at each other, until you get caught in the cross fire of paintballs and flying tomatoes. Which has happened to me, more than once. And the aftermath is them fighting over who apologizes to me the most.

“Noted, I’ll make sure not to mention it if I see him today” I said with a salute, making Danny laugh.

“Okay, well see you at 6?”

“Yeppy”

‘Yeppy? Really? Yeppy?! That’s what I said, ughhhh, why??’

“You’re cute Hollis” she said, before joining a group of other tall athletic girls who all were playfully nudging and pushing each other.

 

 

* * *

 

**Around 5pm**

“Jesus Christ” I screamed, as I walked into my shared dorm room, to find my roommates, Laf and Perry in quite an intimate position.  I looked away as they quickly pulled apart from one another. “Oh h-hey Laura” Laf stuttered, straighten their clothes “we didn’t expect you to be back so early”.

“I figured…. Really guys, every single time I walk through this door I am scarred in one way or another, why don’t you just get a room together, so I don’t have to witness….. all of this” I gestured to them awkwardly. They have never really come out and explained what their relationship was, but we all knew that they loved each other. The first time I caught them I almost had a heart attack, but after that it became routine, much to my discomfort. I loved them both a lot, but geez I didn’t need to see that.

“Laura, I apologize… again, this was completely inappropriate behaviour and I promise it won’t happen again” panted Perry, and Laf made an almost whining Nosie, before glaring at me muttering something that sound like ‘thanks a lot L’.

“Anywaysss, Danny invited us to the BlackWolf tonight, you guys keen” I asked flopping down onto my bed.

“I’m in” nodded Laf “Per?”

“Um well…. Why not I guess” she shrugged and Laf kissed her forehead, before moving down to her lips. “Mmm” they moaned, and I rolled over, covering my face with my pillow.

“Oh god don’t start that again”

 

* * *

 

The BlackWolf was, almost empty when we arrived. Apart from us and Danny plus her two friend, there were four other people. At the bar were two men. One was flirting with the bartender and seemed to be going quite successfully. The other was sobbing, his head in his hands and an empty glass next to him that the bartender kept refilling. Every now and again he would wail “I can’t believe she would do that” and “I have nothing left”. Part of me wanted to comfort him, but Danny said it’s best to leave crying drunk men alone, they probably wouldn’t appreciate my pity. A couple, around our age were also there, they sat together in a booth, holding hands and talking in hushed whispers.

Danny had brought us all a round of drinks and introduced us to her two friends, Elsie and Sarah. They seemed like nice women. Things were a bit awkward at first as we all drank our drinks in silence. Danny’s friend Sarah ended up starting the conversation, she recognised Lafontaine from Bio Lab and the two hit it off pretty well. I was a bit lost with all their science talk, and it didn’t seem like I was the only one, as Danny kept on making faces at me and shaking her head. We ordered another round of drinks and things started to get more comfortable.

 

“You think he’s bad? Try being his assistant” Danny exclaimed, making everyone at the table laugh “For the first month he kept calling me Meghan….. How do you get Meghan from Danny? It took me forever to get the courage to correct him and he still sometimes calls me Meghan”.

“He once told me I’ll never get a boyfriend dressing like this” I said, gesturing to my jeans and T shirt. “He fucking didn’t? Wow what an asshole” Elsie chuckled in disbelief. “Agreed” Danny and I said at the same time, both making eye contact with one another.

“You shouldn’t call your professor an asshole” Perry chided. “Per I don’t think he’s hiding around the corner, ready to jump us” Laf snorted, as Perry looked nervously around the bar.

“Well I’d rather not take the chance”.

We all stifled a laugh.

Around 8ish Danny’s friends left, claiming they had to get up early in the morning, but I couldn’t help but notice they left hand in hand….. Yeah they need to get up early ‘wink’ ‘wink’.  The rest of us stayed and kept drinking (except for Perry who stuck to soda).  By the third drink I was feeling a buzz, Danny and Laf were on their fourth and they were starting to get quite ‘happy’ as well. Danny had placed her arm around my shoulders a while ago (Laf couldn’t help but flash me a smirk), and I must admit the alcohol in my system was making me feel pretty confident.

 

“You fucking slut!” yelled a voice from outside, and we heard a loud crashing noise, like a metal trash can being kicked. Danny tensed beside me and looked like she was about to go investigate what was going on.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Came a familiar female voice. ‘Oh no… it can’t be’

And sure enough in stormed the woman from the other night, eyes blazing with fury, sporting a bruised cheek and a black eye, followed by a big burly man, clutching a bloody nose. Her clothes were ripped and she looked like she swaying a little. She didn’t notice me and walked straight to the bar.

“Hey Sasha give me a Vodka and lemon” She husked to the bartender, who quickly left the guy at the bar and served her the drink.

“Thanks” she grunted, dropping down onto a stool. The man that followed her in quickly stalked over to her, and again I felt Danny tense next to me. We were all watching what was about to happen. “We’re not done yet bitch” he growled grabbing her by the shoulders and twisting her around roughly, making her drop her glass. At that everyone at our table including myself and the flirty guy from the bar jumped up.

“Hey leave her alone” Snapped Danny walking up to the guy along with Mr Flirt.

“I think you should leave buddy” flirt said grabbing the larger man’s shoulder.

“Don’t fucking touch me” the guy yelled, shoving flirt way, and then turned back to mystery woman “I gave you a fucking 50 bitch, I fucking expect to get what I pay for”.

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have been so rough, then I would have done as you asked” she snapped, now on her feet, her shoulders set, staring up at him with the scariest look I’ve ever seen.

“Fucking slut” He yelled taking a step forward only to be blocked by Danny. “If you don’t leave sir I’m calling the police” said the bartender whose name was Sasha.  The man didn’t move for some time. “You got fucking lucky this time Carmilla” He snarled, and then quickly turned, shoving Danny really hard into me and Lafontaine, both of us falling down like rag dolls. He left before Danny could jump to her feet, but I’m 100% sure she would have punched him.

“Laura are you okay” she fretted, helping me to my feet, just as Perry helped Laf.

“I’m fine, just landed on my but pretty hard” I tried to chuckle, and looked over to where the woman, no to where Carmilla was standing.

Our eyes connected and she immediately recognised me, I could tell by the way her eyes widened slightly and left brow raised. She didn’t say anything, instead continued to watch Danny asked again if I was alright. “What? ... oh yeah I’m fine Danny please stop worry” I stuttered still looking at Carmilla. She was still staring, an unreadable expression her face. ‘God she looks awful’ her right eye was almost swollen shut and her bruised cheek had a small bloody cut, he must of nick her with a ring or a watch.

“Hey are you okay, do need to go to the hospital” Flirt asked Carmilla, pointing at her beaten face and cut up hands. “No” Carmilla muttered and returned to her stool.

“Well okay then” he said, and sat back down shaking his head.

“I think we should leave now, I’ve had enough excitement for one night” Perry breathed out. Laf and Danny both nodded. “You want me to walk you guys to your dorms” Danny asked, she still seemed pretty worked up about before, I think walking us home would benefit her more than us. “Yeah sure Danny thanks” I smiled shakily at her. My eyes drifted back to Carmilla, who was hunched over the bar with a new drink in her hand.

It didn't feel right leaving her, but what else could I do.


	3. Bed Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologise for grammar will fix it if a problem :)  
> tw smoking, mentions of sex and Prostitution

That whole night I lay awake in bed thinking about Carmilla. Was she safe? Was she lying in a warm bed like myself?

Or was she out on the street or in a bar, waiting for someone, for anyone to come pick her up, offer her money, a place to stay for the night, if she gives them her body.

Rolling over I try to rid myself of these thoughts, but all I can think about was her bruised face. What would have happened if we weren’t there? Would she have made it through the night? In my mind I envisioned horrible scenarios, where the police would find Carmilla’s lifeless body throw in a dumpster or tossed on the side of road. I can see her face, blank, eyes still and unseeing. And nobody would care, would they? She would became just some other ‘whore’ who was with the wrong person at the wrong time. Did she have any family that would morn her, that would weep over losing her. I had my doubts.

The room was silent aside from Lafontaine’s snoring and the rhythmic ticking of an old analog clock. I knew I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight, unless I knew Carmilla was safe. It was a snap second decision, something I hadn’t really thought all the way through but knew it was something I needed to do. So as quietly as possible, I rolled out of bed, put some shoes on and tipped toed out the door.

* * *

 

Wandering the Silas campus at night in a tank top and some flannel pants, using a phone as a torch is not something I recommend nor something I plan to do again in the future. But alas here I was making my way to the BlackWolf, freezing my ass of in the process and most likely developing a cold. Ugh and my lit paper was due in 3 days, just my luck. On my journey I walked past a group of drunk frat boys who seemed to be busy throwing toilet paper over the University’s bronze mascot. I recognised one of them as Brody Kirsch a boy who asked me out numerous times, I quickened my pace and continued walking, hoping that he wouldn’t notice me.

By the time I made it to the BlackWolf it was 3:35 in the morning and the Bar was closed. Also my phone was almost out of battery. “Dammit” I mutter in frustration. A cold wind began to blow and I cursed myself for not bringing a jacket. “Double dammit”.

“Cold night isn’t it”

“Jesus!” I scream, spinning around to see Carmilla sitting against a wall in the alleyway behind me. She was hunch over arms resting on her knees, wrapped in a tattered green parka. I could make small glow of a cigarette, and next to her sat a dirty duffle bag. Like myself she’s shivering from the cold, but doesn’t seem to mind it, like she’s use to it. “You almost gave me a heart attack” I snap and she lets out a low breathy chuckle.

“What you doing out here cupcake, hanging outside of bars at 3 in the morning doesn’t really seem like you style” She rasps out, in her low and sexy voice. My mind can’t help back flash back to the night before, the way she whispered in my ear…. ‘No focus Laura, you’re here for a reason’.

“Yeah not really my thing” I say lamely, trying to start a conversation. She laughs again and I think that maybe I have a chance. She offers me a cigarette, which I decline, making her shrug. “Decided to do some star watching” she smirks at me before looking up at the sky “I can understand why they are beautiful”. Her gaze meets mine again, and I feel heat begin pooling in my cheeks and stomach. “Um yeah they are… pretty?” she gives me an odd look and looks back up at the sky. ‘Dammit Laura you’re losing her, might as well tell her why you are here’.

“Um well you see…. The thing is… it’s… Iwaswonderingifyouwantedtoperhapsspendthenightatmyplace?” I pretty much vomited out. Carmilla raised one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows and just stared at me like I was an idiot. “Come again?” she asked eyes wide and confused, but with a sarcastic hint to them. I sucked in deep a breath, “I was wondering if you wanted to spend the night at my place?” I say slower this time, and she still continues to stare at me. For a while she said nothing, didn’t move or even acknowledge what I had said. Slowly she turned away from me and looked around the alley way, as if analysing every detail. With a heavy sigh she stands, hoisting her bag over her shoulder. “Anywhere beats here I guess” she shrugs. On that I smile, maybe a little too brightly, because she gives me that strange look again. She probably thinks I’ve got something wrong with me.

She walks behind me and keeps her distance. At first I thought she was just a slow walker, so I slowed down to walk along side her. But that only made her walk even slower, maintaining her two paced distance behind me. It was a bit odd, but I decided to respect her space.

* * *

 

“So here we are” I gesture towards my dorm room. “Um I do have roommate who are sleeping at the moment, so please try to bit quiet”. We enter the dorm and quickly pad across the kitchen/living area towards my side of the room. I only hope that Perry and Laf don’t freak out in the morning. Perry’s a light sleeper so I try to be extra stealthy when I walk past the bunks, Carmilla on the other just stomps over, not seeming to care to much about the other. “Shhhhhhhhh” I hiss, and I hear a snort from Laf, but neither wake.  “You know when you said lets go back to mine, I assumed you lived alone, pretty kinky of you wanting to fuck me with your two roommates sleeping a few feet away” she whispers harshly in my ear. “What? Wait you thought I brought you back here to sleep with me?!” I am shocked, but she simply shrugs looking at me like ‘what else were you expecting’.

Part of me wants to. Too throw her down or have her throw me down onto the bed and fuck each other like there’s no tomorrow. But I don’t and I won’t, it makes me sick that that’s her first expectation. People have hurt and used this woman in front of me, by promising her safety, perhaps love.

“So are we or…” she begins to say and mutter something about money, but I’m too busy rummaging through my draw looking for something that might fit her. “Shut up and put these on” I demand, flinging my longest flannel pants at her and a plain white t shirt. “Hmmm kinky, not the first time some has said that to me” she husks, slowly removing her pants and with all of my will power I look away.

“Stop that”

I busy myself by fluffing the pillow….. about 10 times. I turn around to find a very uncomfortable and oddly shy looking Carmilla dressed in my PJs. She’s stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, arms wrapped around herself. “So……” she mutters “Ugh good night I guess”. She proceeds to sit down and curl up on the floor like a dog or a cat. “Umm what are you doing” I ask sitting down on the edge of my bed. “Going to sleep what does it look like” she snaps, eyes closed, lying flat on her back. “You know there is a bed right here” I say crouching down next to her. “Yeah, your bed… I’m fine with the floor”. “Look we slept in the same bed the other night I seriously don’t mind-“

“I said I’m fine on the floor” her tone is harsh and her eyes are now open, staring right at me “I don’t need your fucking pity cupcake, why did you bring me here, you don’t know me, we’re not friends, fuck I don’t even know you name”. She’s yelling now, and I think she’s woken up Perry and Laf.

“Laura what is going on” asks a groggy Lafontaine, rubbing their eyes and rolling over. They spot Carmilla on the floor and immediately bolt up, now fully wake. “Um hi?” they say, with a WTF face aimed in my direction. I wave my hand at them, signalling I’ll tell them later. “Um Laura what is going on” Perry asks, not one for subtle or hints. “Wellll…. You guys remember Carmilla” I gesture towards the woman in question, who is looking mighty pissed off. “Um yes, hello Carmilla” Perry says politely, but flashes a glare at me over Carmilla’s head. “Yeah, I’m going to go” Carmilla mutters, getting up the leave. “No, no please don’t go, look I’m sorry for freaking you out and making you uncomfortable, but please I’d feel a lot better if you stayed”.

“You’d? You’d feel a lot better if I stay? Oh so this is all about making yourself feel better is it?” Carmilla hisses at me. “What no, that’s not what I meant, look what I meant was I was worried and wanted to make sure you were safe, after everything that happened last night”, she looks taken about and confused by what I have said. Like she had never heard anyone say that too her in her life. The look of shock is gone quickly though and her emotionless mask is back in place.

“Well you don’t need to worry about me Laura”

She turns to leave, but I won’t let that happen and I quickly dash to the door blocking her exit. God I must look ridiculous, standing against the door, arms and legs stretched out like a star fish. I may be short, but she’s not much taller, I think I can stop her. “You look like an idiot” she sighs with a bitter chuckle and I can see Perry and Laf giving me side eyed looks. “If you don’t move I’ll make you” she threatens and I almost take a step back, dam she can be scary sometimes.

“Look I’m sorry if I upset or offended you, I didn’t mean to, but be reasonable, what’s out there for you? Sleeping in that alleyway? Under some bridge? At least here I’m offering you a bed, somewhere safe for you to stay, for tonight or as long as want…. It’s your choice”. God I can feel myself getting emotional after my little speech. I take some deep calm breaths and wait for Carmilla to make her decision. Perry and Laf have both gotten back into their beds and appear to be trying to ignore us, or at least give Carmilla some space.

Carmilla is silent, but looks the most emotional I’ve seen her. She’s not the most emotive person I’ve ever met, but in the short time I’ve known her I’ve noticed her eyes are a dead give a way.

“I won’t sleep against the wall” she finally whispers.

“What” I ask broken from my stupor. “I will only sleep in the bed if I’m not on the wall side” She says pointing at my bed.  “Huh?...Oh, that’s fine , yeah no of course” I can’t help but smile, even brighter when I look at her begrudged scowl. She may not like what’s happening but she’ll just have to deal with it.

“Be warned “I say, earning another perfectly shaped eyebrow raise “I’m a cuddler”

“Oh goody”

I hop into my bed and open up the blanket so she can slide in next to me. She’s reluctant at first and there’s a lot of sighing and muttering, but eventually she plops down next to me. “Hmmm just like old times” she purrs, bring her face closer to mine “nice and cosy”. I can tell she’s doing this on purpose, to hide her discomfort. Her hand gentle rakes against my inner thigh and I my entire body tenses. “Opps” she smirks. “Hey if you two are going to fuck can you keep it down” grumbles Lafontaine, and I hear Perry hiss “Language!” at them.

Carmilla leers at me with a wink.

“Good night Carmilla”

“Night cupcake”


	4. Lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i've been away so long  
> lost the inspiration again, but i'll try and update more frequently  
> edited it :)

I wake up to find an arm draped over me and the sound of soft snoring in my ear. Turns out Carmilla was also a cuddler. Her whole body was pressed against my back, and I could feel her breath against my neck. ‘Um okay… this is…this is kinda nice’. I could stay like this all morning, except… I really need to pee. Slowly I try to pry myself from Carmilla’s grasp without waking her up. “Mmmmmm, Not now Satan, I don’t wanna ride the motorcycle” I hear Carmilla mutter sleepily. ‘What?’ I suppress a giggle as I feel Carmilla snuggle closer to me, tightening her hold around my waist and pressing her face into my neck. ‘Oh god please stop seizing my bladder’.

“Carmilla” I whispered, gently pulling one arm off me as I move to sit up. I don’t want her to be woken up by me wetting the bed, god imagine that, I would probably die from embarrassment. Gently I poke her cheek with my index finger, which proves to be quiet effective, getting an immediate response. “Whhhattt” she startles groggily with a snort, bolting upright. I couldn’t help but laugh, there was a small trickle of drool on the corner of her mouth and her hair was sticking out from all angles.

“Shut up” Grumbles Laf, burying their head up their pillow as I continue to laugh, Perry doesn’t stir. For someone so highly strung she could sleep though an earthquake. “Huh, what” Carmilla mumbles, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

“You were spooning me and I really need to pee” I laugh, hopping out of bed and rushing to bathroom, before Carmilla could reply. I hear another confused “What” from the dark hair woman, and let out another snort of laughter. I can just imagine her mortified face.

 

“Um thanks, for… well everything” Carmilla says, putting a spoonful of porridge in her mouth. All four of us were sitting around our tiny kitchen table, eating a ‘Nutritious’ breakfast made by Perry. Though much to Perry’s distain I had drowned mine in sugar, so I’m not really sure how nutritious it is anymore. Carmilla is sitting across from me looking very disgruntled, still dressed in my pjs which are about 1 size too small…. Not that I’m complaining.

“You’re welcome” I smile, and I catch her rolling her eyes. She hasn’t really taken to my friends, but in all fairness they haven’t been too pleasant to her either. They both keep shooting glances at her and whispering to one another when they think she’s not looking. But I know Carmilla has noticed, as she’s opted to basically ignore their presence.

“Laura, remember you have that Lit paper due in on Tuesday. Laf and I are going out to lunch to so the dorm will be quiet for you to study, without any distractions” She throws a pointed look at Carmilla with her last comment. Sometimes I think the art of subtlety was lost on these two. “Thanks Per…” I mumble sarcastically, but she smiles none the less. I catch Carmilla smirking, but she quickly ducks her head when she sees me looking. The rest of the morning is uneventful, aside from Perry flinging grape fruits at us, claiming we all need more fruit in our diet. Carmilla doesn’t seem to mind my friends and their weirdness or is at least very good at ignoring them. In fact she hasn’t said one word to them, I can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

Laf and Perry reluctantly leave around 11 o clock, they both don’t want to leave me alone with Carmilla, but I reassured them I’d be alright. I think they think she’s some kind of serial killer…. Which she could be for all I know, but I’ll take my chances. Carmilla is currently lounging on my bed as if it was her own, flipping through one of my Lit books.

“Sooooo…. “ I begin, we’ve been sitting in silence now for about 5 minutes and it’s starting to uncomfortable.

“Yeah I’ll get going now, thanks though for the bed and… stuff” she says getting up off the bed. Oh crap she thinks I want her leave.

“Oh, you can stay if you want” I blurt as she starts getting changed out of my Pjs. “

Nah it’s fine cupcake” she sighs spinning around to face me, dressed in nothing but her ratty jeans and bra. She pauses my shirt still in her hand, and smirks as my eyes try to stay fixed on her face. She looks so smug, standing there shirtless looking all prefect and flawless, dam her. I’m staring now, at her body, her disgustingly prefect body. Her pale unblemished smooth skin, her flat stomach with the slightest hint of abs… dam you Carmilla, I just want to cross the room and rip the rest of her clothes off, and I know she’d let me. But I don’t.

“Are you okay Laura? You look a little flushed?” she asks in the most mockingly innocent voice.

“I’m fine” I grit snatching my shirt from her grasp. She chuckles lightly putting on her own shirt and I can’t help but smile at the sound, god she’s so beautiful.

“Well I’ll leave you to your Lit assignment”

I don’t want her to go, I want her to stay. “Um well I mean it’s not due till Thursday so we could I dunno maybe go out for some lunch” That’s lie it’s not due on Thursday.

“Oh didn’t your friend say it was due on Tuesday”. Dammit Perry and your big mouth.

“Oh did she? She’s wrong it’s due on Thursday” do I sound too desperate?, I think she’s noticing. I can’t believe I’m blowing off an assignment to spend time with some stranger, but fudge it.

“Well I guess I could go for some lunch. I mean I got nothing better to do” she shrugs. It was kind of back handed comment, she’s coming to lunch with me (Awesome), but only because she’s got no we else to go (not so awesome…), it’s not much but I’ll take it none the less. “Great, there’s this new café on campus that makes the best hot chocolate and cakes”

“I do enjoy cupcakes”

She licked her lips and I feel my stomach flutter.

 

* * *

 

Of course she only orders coffee, black might I add, with no sugar….gross. She sips slowly whilst I slurp away on my hot chocolate and engorge myself in cake. She sits quietly as I rave on about my week. She didn’t seem to mind, often smiling (it was only a small smile that you most likely miss if you weren’t looking, but trust me I was) as I told my stories.

“You sure you don’t want some” I offer my plate of chocolate cake to her. She cocks an eyebrow, looking at me with a hint of disgust. I can feel my cheeks are puffed out like a chipmunk, stuff full of cake, oh god I must look ridiculous.

“I’m good” she says, taking a sip of her black coffee. I quickly swallow (loudly) and rub my mouth with the back of my sleeve.

I look up to her staring at me “What?” I ask noticing her slight smile.

“Uh, you got…. You got some chocolate” she points to the corner of my mouth.

“What? Where” I swipe furiously at my mouth. “Right… uh, right there” she leans in very slowly and I stop rubbing, gently she presses her thumb to my mouth, wiping the chocolate away. My eyes are wide and my mouth is hanging open, but I don’t care. She pauses her thumb still on my face and our eyes make contact,

“Umm, right, all gone” she quickly moves her hand away, returning to her coffee. I try not to whimper when she removes her hand, I want her to touch me, I want her to cup my face in her beautiful delicate hands….. is that too much for a girl to ask,

“Thanks” I gulp.

I look down at my cake, and all I want is to smash the whole thing against my face, just so she would touch me again. But I don’t, that would be stupid…. Would it? Yes, yes it would be stupid.

“Nice place” pipes Carmilla snapping me from my cake smashing thoughts. The café is quite small filled mostly with stoned hipster art students, drinking obscure teas, bickering about bands I’ve never heard of. But it’s got a nice charm about it, the walls are line with bookshelves and littered with old movies posters.

“Yeah it is, my friend Danny brought me here a few weeks ago” I smile reminiscing. Oh shit Danny, I had completely forgotten about the tall red head, I hadn’t text her since the other night. I suddenly feel guilty, but I don’t know why, I mean I have no reason to…. “

Danny, was that the giant ging you were with the other night” Carmilla mutters, and I can’t help but notice a hint of perhaps bitterness in her voice.

“Yeah she’s my friend… my good friend”

“Hmmm, good friends huh?” another cocked eyebrow and I can sense that she may be judging me.“I bet you two are really good friends, as close as you and me?”

That dam smirk is back and I can tell she’s enjoying this little game of hers.

“Like you and that man the other night?” I’m getting defensive and I can tell I’ve step over a line, we haven’t spoken about what happened at the bar, and I notice she tenses. “That man… do you know him” I ask softly, I feel bad for bringing up something that obviously makes her feel uncomfortable. She doesn’t say anything, continuing to drink her coffee. I sigh in frustration “Look I’m not judging you, but you need to tell me who he is so I can help you”.

“I didn’t ask for your help” she snaps “and wow gee thanks for not judging me”. She’s now sitting up straight in her chair, back ridged and chest puffed out, like a cornered dog or cat. “You know that’s not what I meant, god why is me wanting to help you so bad?”

She looks at me and for the first time I can see past the hardened exterior, her eyes are wide and sad, making her look years younger. I see a girl, a lost girl, whom the world has hurt, whom it has broken and then tossed aside like she meant nothing. And as quickly as she had appeared that girl was gone, replaced by the scowl of an angry woman, compelled to fight back against the world.

“Thanks for the bed and coffee, don’t keep in touch”

She threw onto the table about 5 dollars and a handful of coins, she didn’t storm out the café as I expected, instead she walked slowly and surely. As if proving to me that she was the one in control.

With a heavy sigh I lean back in my chair covering my face with my hands, I know I’ll cross paths with her again soon, and if I don’t, well I’ll just have to go looking for her.


	5. Star filled sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW, mentions of assault, both physical and sexual (however not graphic)

It had been a week since my disaster of a lunch with Carmilla and I hadn’t seen her since. Uni has kept me on my toes for the past few days, leaving little time for me to search for the brunette. I’ve been constantly going back to the Blackwolf in hopes to see her, but she hasn’t turned up. The woman behind the bar told me to give up, if the ‘if the whore doesn’t want to be found then she won’t be’ she said, nonchalantly. Her tone held no malice when she said ‘whore’, but still I gave the woman a good earful before storming out.

For the past few day I’ve had troubling dreams, all about Carmilla. I find myself waking in the middle of the night covered in sweat, I can still hear her voice, her screams. I know what I’m seeing isn’t real, but it scares me none the less, for everyday she’s out there it could become real.

I haven’t mentioned my dreams to my friends, they’d probably think there is something wrong with me. Sometimes I think there might be something wrong with me. I’ve been trying to remain focused on my school work, but it has been difficult. Lit’s been hitting my butt lately even with Danny’s help. Speaking of Danny, she’s been wanting to hangout a lot lately. Study dates, lunches, all that. It’s nice, having someone who’s just willing to listen, who seems genuinely interested in how my day was. But whenever we hangout I always feel this gnawing sensation in my stomach, like guilt or something.

It’s been quiet today, Lafontaine and Perry have gone away on some trip together for the weekend. I love those two, but sometimes it’s nice to have the place for myself, besides I think they enjoy the time alone together.

It’s given me some time to work on my paper.  So that’s how I’ve spent my day, staring at nearly blank word document, my diet has consisted of nothing but cookies and grape soda. I’ve been up for a little over 20 hours now, and I still haven’t written more than a paragraph. I’m so screwed.

I run my hands through my greasy hair. Ugh it’s disgusting, I can’t remember when I last had a shower… gross. I’ve been in my Pjs for two days now. It’s now 10 o’clock, pretty early by my standards, but I’m just so tired. It's been raining all day, so I've been couped up inside. I was about to retire for the evening, when I heard a harsh knock at the door. That can’t be Perry and Laf, they’re not due back till tomorrow. I creepy towards the door quietly. Who the hell could be knocking at this time of night? Warily I grab a can of pepper spray off the table and open the door, ready to spray at the first sigh of danger. Instead I come face to face with the person I’ve been looking for all week.

 

“Hey” she rasps her voice sounds like gravel, there is another bruise on her face and her clothes are soaking wet. Her parka jacket looks more roughed up than usual and her arms are wrapped around her middle as she leans against the door frame in pain

I don’t say anything, instead I lead her silently into the room, which I think she is grateful for. I help her sit down onto my bed, and gently clasp her hand in mine, rubbing soothing circle on her palm. She remained silent but her face looks like she wants to say something, but couldn’t find the right words. Instead she kisses me.

 

The way she grabs my face is rough, and I almost reel back in fright, but I lean in a second later. She kisses me. It’s hard, almost angry, but I don’t care. She pushes me down onto the bed, hands wrapped around my wrists, pinning me against the mattress. Her hands are cold, and her clothes and hair wet, but she doesn’t seem to care. She deepens the kiss, her tongue entering my mouth, and suddenly I feel more confident. I push against her hands breaking her hold, and lunge forward grabbing the front of her jacket. She’s still above and seems a little shocked at my sudden forwardness. She lets out a noise almost like a growl or a pained hiss, whether out of angry or lust I am unsure and she quickly pulls the jacket off, revealing her wet white shirt that was almost see through, she’s braless and her nipples are hard. I have little time to stare at her chest as she once again crashes her lips against mine. The kissing is like fire, hot and passionate, but I want more. I seize the hem of her shirt and begin to tug it upwards. I am suddenly stopped however.

“No” she snarls, and I see anger flash in her eyes but also fear, “Tonight you are mine”.  Her voice cracks and she looks nervous.

The way she says mine, it makes my skin crawl. Like it’s not really her that’s saying it, but rather she is repeating something she’s heard, many times before.

“Carmilla” I whisper, and I can feel her shaking above me.

“Shut up” she snaps, and she tries to silence me with a kiss, but I push her away. She looks down, eyes burning into the floor, full of shame and regret.

“Carmilla?” I ask again, this time reaching out tentatively, trying to get her to face me.

“Don’t touch me”

I want to snap that she was the one who touched me first, but I bite my tongue, she’s obviously in distress and not thinking straight.

“No you don’t get to do this again” I say in a firm voice, sounding more confident than I actually felt. She’s unpredictable, which frightens me. I doubt she would hurt me, but I don’t her to run again. She looks shaken and flinches at my tone. 

“I…I’m sorry” she whispers “For- for” she doesn’t finish, but I know what she means. She sorry for coming here. It hurts a bit to hear that, like as if coming to me is something regrettable for her, but this isn’t about me so I push the thought to the back of my mind.

“It’s okay” I give her a small smile, which she returns… kinda, it’s more of a grimace, but she’s trying at least. “I’m actually glad you came”.

“Really?” she asks in the most innocent voice, like she can’t believe I wanted to see her.

“Yeah, I mean well, I we’re kinda uhh friends? Yeah friends, so I was worried” I ramble out, sounding so awkward. But she doesn’t seem to mind, in fact she looks genuinely surprised.

There was a brief pause between us after my little… outburst. Carmilla was looking marginally better than when she first arrived.

“Do you… do you wanna get out of here?” she asks finally. It’s pretty late, around 11ish and its cold outside only having just stopped raining. But I find myself nodding. I’m not sure why Carmilla feels like she needs to escape again, but at least this time she’s taking me with her. I’m still dressed in my PJs but she assures me that’s fine, and just tells me to bring a jacket.

 

* * *

 

It’s dark. I can feel all my hairs stand up on the back of my neck as we walk away from the uni, and through some back alleys. I tense every time we walk past a shadow, always expecting someone to jump out and grab us. Carmilla seems have noticed and grabs my hand. Her hand is freezing, but I grip it tightly. She doesn’t seem scared, and I feel myself begin to relax as she leads me away into the night. What am I doing, she could be some psycho murderer for all I know. This is it, proof I have finally lost my mind. But I don’t let go and we continue to walk through the darkness.

The city and University are far behind us now. The ground is no longer pavement, but dirt. Buildings have been replaced by trees and yet Carmilla trudges forward. We finally stop in the middle of some open field that feels like its miles away from anywhere. She drops down heavily onto the grass, practically dragging me down with her. It’s quiet, and you can see the stars perfectly.

 

“Tonight, I ran into… this guy, I knew him from a while ago, anyways he came up to me wanting...” Carmilla doesn’t finish instead she swallows heavily, but I get what she means. “But I told him no, I was done for the night… he didn’t like that…. He grabbed me and…. Well let’s just say I got lucky and I managed to get away before…. Well I mean before it got worse”, she chuckles darkly pointing at her bruised face. As she told me her story I could feel my stomach become hot with rage. I wanted to hurt this man for laying a hand on her. She’s doesn’t notice my rage, instead opting to stare up at the star filled sky.

I reach out, but pause before I touch her face, I don’t want to over step my boundaries, knowing how emotionally exposed she’s feeling. Instead she leans forward allowing me to gently caress the purple mark. She’s flinches slightly but doesn’t pull away.

“I want to kiss you” she whispers “but like ya know…. Properly, not like all those other times, not that I didn’t I enjoy them or anything”. She looks flushed and flashes me a shy grin, which is so incredibly cute.

“Then kiss me dammit” I husk, and she doesn’t need to be told twice as her lips gently meet mine.

This is a side of Carmilla I haven’t experienced yet. It’s softer, calmer. Her lips don’t slam against mine, as they have done in the past, always confused, fighting for dominance yet also willing to submissive depending on what a person wants her for. She kisses me and it’s just so natural, like it’s something inherent.

 

When we finally break apart she’s looking at me with such uncertainty, trying to judge whether I enjoyed it or not. I smile widely to put her unease to rest and she relaxes almost immediately, reaching out to hold my hand. She returns to looking at the stars, a small content smile on her face.

“So what now?” I ask, leaning into her side and Carmilla wraps her arm around my shoulders.

“I dunno, what do want to do?” her tone is light, but I know there are years of abuse and neglect hidden behind those sad eyes.

“I want to be with you”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update haha  
> hopefully you like it, i tried to make it like not be shit, but I dunno how it turned out, it was a little rushed hahaha, but hopefully its not shit  
> leave a comment if you want, and send me any suggestions you might have or any prompts

I’m not gonna lie… we fucked like animals when we got back to my dorm room….. god that sounds so wrong. Carmilla seemed particularly wired when we returned, I suppose it was from feeling so vulnerable before. She needed to let out some stress and well I was definitely more than willing to help. I was a bit reluctant at first, not for myself (the greedy, horny part of me wanted her to fuck in me in the field) but I was worried about her. On the other hand she was worried about me, so it was a little awkward at first. We both insisted to the other we were fine, making us worry even more…. Dumb I know.

“Laura” Carmilla hisses against my ear, as I draw myself closer to her. She’d holding back, but I knew she wanted to. Her self-control was waning.

“Yes?” I ask smugly, as she gapes at me. Eyes hungry, almost black with lust.

“I need you” she whispers, but it comes out more like a whimper.

And for once I’m the one that’s smirking as she looks at me with wide desperate eyes.

‘This going to fun’ I think with a devilish grin.

 

* * *

 

"Ah fuck!" she moaned against my neck, her whole body shaking as her organism took her. 

I lip my lips, her taste still on my tongue. 

"Dam cupcake" She breathes out heavily "If I knew you fucked that well, you wouldn't have even needed to pay me the first time"

I chuckle, leaning against her bare breasts. "Well technically my friends paid you, do want to fuck them?"

"The three red heads and the goofy looking guy?" she asks.

I nod

"No thanks, no offensive but your friends seem really weird"

I let out a bark of laughter "Yeah they are".

She says nothing, instead she sits up. Cupping my face and pulling me in to a kiss. It's soft and sweet, her hand in my hair and I place my hands on her collar bone.

She deepens the kiss slightly, but it doesn't become a full fledged make out, its slow and intimate.

We break apart, foreheads resting against each other. Both of us smiling. 

"You know.... I really happy your weird friends paid me to have sex with you" she smiles, and I giggle at the strange sentiment. 

"Me too"

* * *

 

 

We’re lying in bed together, naked, wrapped up in each other’s arms. It’s strange to think the arms of a person I barely know is the one place I want to be more than anything. And perhaps Carmilla feels the same way. I’m not sure where this…. Thing we have is going, but for now it just nice to lie here.

My fingers trace up her arm as she lies on her back, one arm resting under her head the other wrapped around me shoulder.

My index finger finds a long scar and I absently trail up and down the puckered skin.

“Wrestling a bear” she says out of the blue, making me jump slightly.

“What?” I reply confused.

“How I got it” she nods toward the thick scar “wrestling a bear”.

There’s a playful smirk on her face, but a hint of sadness in her eyes. So I decide to play along, rather than probe and question the actual origins of the mark.

“And what pray tell started this wrestling match” I ask, pressing a kiss to her lips before she can answer. She eagerly returns the kiss, her mouth engulfing mine and I felt her bite down against my lip.

“Hmmm” she hums against my lips and we break apart.

“I bet you kicked its but” I joke and she lets out a breathy chuckle.

“Indeed, you know me, always getting into fights”

“You think you’re so badass” I laugh, earning a scowl from Carmilla.

“I don’t think I know cupcake”

“Oh of course”

I shift, to sit up and am now straddling her hips.

“Well” I begin, leaning down to kiss the scar “Maybe” I kiss her collar bone “This badass wouldn’t mind” My lips meet her neck and she lets out a shuddering breath “Going another round”

I press my lips against hers and I feel her hands grip my hips.

Suddenly the door swings wide open and I feel myself being practically bucked off the bed as Carmilla immediately bolts up.

“Oh my god” I hear the voice of Perry, and I realise that I am completely nude. Carmilla quickly leaps from the bed, covering my in the sheet, but now exposing herself.

If I looked back now I might find this funny. Me sitting naked on the floor nude, next to an even nuder Carmilla who is looking very red standing in front of my two best friends.

I dragged a flushed Carmilla to the bathroom to get changed as a very flustered Perry and Laf, un pack their bags.

 

We emerge from the bathroom dressed and Carmilla seems to have reverted back to her moody self, glaring at the two red heads, all evidence of embarrassment gone. Though she does look a little nervous, but is hiding it behind crossed arms and a scowl.

 “You guys remember Carmilla” I gesture towards the brunette who awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck.

“Hey” she mumbles with a small wave.

“Hello Carmilla” Perry tries to smile, but it looks more like a grimace. Her eyes screaming at me ‘What the hell are you doing?’ Neither of my friends mention what they had seen earlier, which I am glad of, and the topic seems to be dropped…. For now, I just know I’ll get an earful when Carmilla isn’t here.

 Laf seems more relaxed, actually they don’t even seem to care, and instead they’ve poured themselves a cup of coffee.

“Per, L, Carmilla anyone want coffee” they ask.

“I’ll have a cup” Carmilla says, and joins Laf in the little kitchen area.

“So how was your trip” I ask, hopefully that will make this whole situation less awkward.

Perry gives me a look, basically saying ‘we’ll talk about this later’ and I suppress a gulp.

“It was great” Laf calls from the kitchen “ I got so many fungus samples, I can’t wait to get to the lab and anyalsis them”.

They lift up a back pack from the bench, beaming proudly, and I detect a moist damp smell coming from it. Carmilla shots me a look from behind them, eyebrows high, looking very weirded out. I just shake my head.

“Yes well aside from mushroom picking” Perry sends Laf a light glare “we had a very pleasant time”.

Carmilla return from the kitchen coffee in hand and immediately flocking to my side. I reach out and take her free hand, and I feel her relax, her fingers lightly stroking the inside of my palm. The gesture doesn’t go unseen by Perry who simply rises an unimpressed eyebrow. Carmilla’s hold on my hand tightens and she give Perry a hard stare.

“Sooo” Laf says, joining Perry at the table, they have a smile on their face. That was one of the best things about Laf, they were never one to judge someone based on appearances.

Perry on the other hand…… well let’s just say doesn’t have such an open mind.

“You guys wanna watch a movie” I blurt out, wanting to ease some of the tension in the room.

“Um cupcake-“

“Yeah sure” Laf immediately gets out our shared movie collection “Carmilla can pick because she’s the guest”.

“Um nah that’s okay… I don’t watch a lot of movies” she pulls her hand away from mine, returning it to the back of her neck.

“That’s cool just pick a random one then” Laf smiles, I can sense they’re trying their best to make Carmilla feel comfortable and welcome.

Carmilla shots me and uncertain look. I just nod and she reluctantly leaves my side to look at the DVD collection.

“You have a lot of Disney movies” she says with a hint of a sigh.

“Yeah cos they’re awesome” Laf exclaims, joining Carmilla in her search.

“I don’t mind what we watch as long as it’s not one of those awful horror movies you like Lafontaine” Perry clucks. I walk over and join her on the couch.

“Yeah maybe something not super violent” I laugh, noticing Carmilla and Laf frown.

“Um what about this one” Carmilla shrugs indifferently, but I can tell she’s worried about her choice.

“North By Northwest? Classic Hitchcock” Laf nods with approval “Odd choice but a good one, why this one in particular?” they asked, putting the disc in.

“I dunno, when I was kid I saw the plane scene playing on a TV in a store and I always wanted to know what was happening” Carmilla says with a little chuckle, sitting down on the floor leaning against my legs. Her hand reaches up, resting it on my calf and I feel her fingers making little circle motions.

“Well not to predict the future or anything, but you’re going to love it, a true master piece” Laf says flopping down next to Perry, wrapping their arm around her shoulders.

“I’ll take your word on that” Carmilla laughs, flashing Laf a grin which in turn makes me smile. I’m enjoying how they’re getting along, they both had an uneasy start, but now are laughing together and commenting on the movie.

“Oh come on that’s bullshit” Calls out Carmilla, gesturing towards the screen.

“My god dude, it’s a movie, haha where’s your suspension of disbelieve” Laf shook their head light heartily.

“Up my ass”

“doesn’t that hurt, having it stuff up there?” They laugh, earning a light whack from Perry.

“Don’t be so crude” she chide, but I could tell she was trying not to smile.

“Listen to your wife, Bio major” Carmilla jeered earning a whack from me.

Perry and I share a smirk as the two rub their upper arms.

“Ow Per”

“It was a joke cupcake”

 

* * *

 

The movie ends and it’s almost lunch time. Perry offers to make everyone lunch. And now we’re all sitting around the table munching on cheese and bacon toasties. And everything seems just so… so normal. Carmilla and Laf are still arguing, we all agreed to watch another movie, and now they’re both fighting over what we watch. Laf wants Carmilla to watch Star Wars, completely appalled that the brunette hadn’t seen… well any of them.  Carmilla enjoyed North By Northwest so much she wanted to watch Psycho next.

“I vote for Star Wars” Perry says “Sorry Carmilla Psycho is just a little to creepy”, she gives the brunette an apologetic smile. She slowly warming up to Carmilla.

“Yeah sorry Carm I gotta go for Star Wars too, only because you haven’t seen them before” I say “Which I think is like legit a crime”.

“Oh I see how it is” she grumbles, but I can tell she’s not seriously upset. She gives me a fake pout when the other aren’t look and I pock my tongue out at her, only for her to response with a V licking gesture

We are interrupted by a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it” I say, getting up, leaving Carmilla to deal with Laf’s terrible Yoda impression.

I open the door only to be met with the tall form of Danny.

“Hey Laura you ready for our date?” she asks a hopeful smile on her face.

I look back at the table to see the others all looking at me.

Carmilla’s eyes are narrow, set dead on me, and I can see a storm slowly building.

I look back to see Danny’s eyes set on Carmilla, head cocked to the side, confused, yet her body language reads defensive. She takes a step forward entering the room and I can hear the sound of a chair scraping across the floor.

‘Oh shit’

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess whose back back, back again
> 
> lol, yeah I'm back... kinda, Here's the latest chapter, its a bit fillerish that cos i need to think about where this story is going a bit more, cos its been so long  
> sorry for the lateness and lack of updates on anything... i dunno, i just didn't think my stories were all that good, i dunno went through a weird phase cos my stories were going off in weird directions I didn't think they were all that good haha  
> was looking at what other writers were doing and thinking 'why can't my stories be that good or popular' but then I remembered I did this cos love carmilla and love writing, and these are my crummy stories haha and it doesn't matter if they're not like other ppls thats what makes them mine   
> but i'm defs gonna try and finish them all, gonna try and get back into the swing  
> thanks to everyone who commented it really helped with motivation :)   
> I plan on adding more drama and sexy times in future chapters   
> but this is just a lead in kinda of thing ahhaha  
> also sorry for any grammaticaly problems any glaring ones that piss you off let me know and I'll fix them :)  
> anyways hope you enjoy  
> leave a comment if you do, i would really love that

**Chapter 7**

 

“Laura what’s going on?” Danny asks eyes shifting between me and a very pissed off Carmilla.

“Yeah Laura, tell us, what is going on” Sneers Carmilla eyes once again dark and unreadable, a far cry from the girl who was watching movies and joking with my friends.

Danny steps further into the room, situating herself next to me, as Carmilla remains at the table.

“I uhh, um well, see the, the thing is-“ I try to stammer out, but end up choking. Danny shoots me a concerned look as I awkwardly raise my hands silently, no words managing to come out.

I look over at Laf and Perry for help.

“We’re just, we’re just gonna go” Laf says slinking towards the door, grabbing Perry’s already awaiting hand, quickly removing themselves from the escalating drama. The two disappear from the room, both flashing me ‘oh shit’ faces as they leave. ‘Yeah thanks for the help guys’.

“Laura?” Danny says my name again, this time her tone more serious. I can see her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. Eyes no longer on me, but now fixated on Carmilla, who is looking positively livid.

“Danny, you remember Carmilla, the girl from the Blackwolf” I gesture to the brunette with a fake smile.

“Uhh, yeah, hi” Danny says with a small wave. Carmilla doesn’t wave back, instead continues to death stare the tall red head.

Danny looks to me again, eyebrows still scrunched up in confusion. It’s actually kinda heartbreaking how lost she looks, paralleling the angry sneer of Carmilla’s face.

“Yeah well you know how she was in a bit of trouble the other night, well she’s staying here for a while-“ I begin to say, and Carmilla lets out an angry snort “and well I promised I would um, take her on a campus tour today, so can we um, reschedule?”

Ugh it was a crappy move on my part, and neither girl seemed happy with my answer. Danny takes a deep breath before putting on a fake grin. I think she can sense there is more between me and Carmilla but she refuses to acknowledge the elephant in the room. Maybe in hopes if she ignored it, it would go away.

“Yeah sure no problem Laura, it’s fine, just text me day that you’re free” she says voice cracking slightly “Have fun you two”. Her grin is toothy and bright, but doesn’t meet her eyes, I can tell she’s hurt and disappointed. “Well cya” she waves, even acknowledging Carmilla on her way out the door. The two share one final look, Danny’s less aggressive more wary, whilst Carmilla opting for a total ‘fuck you looking at bitch’ stare. One she wears so well and I just know she’ll be directing at me soon.

“Danny I’m sorry-“ I go to say but the door is already closed behind her. There is a brief pause of silence behind the door, but then I hear her footsteps as she slowly walks away. God I feel so bad. I press my head against the door, closing my eyes as I let the guilt over flow my body, listening to the footsteps fade until I am left only with my thoughts.

However my brief moment of silent self-loathing and inner angst is interrupted.

 

“So what? She’s or girlfriend or something” I hear Carmilla snap behind me, and I press my head even harder against the door.

Maybe if I bash it against the wood a few times, all my problems will disappear.

“Is she your girlfriend?” she asks again, this time firmer more demanding. I hear the slightest hint of panic however.

“No she isn’t Carmilla” I sigh turning to face the pissed off brunette “She’s just a friend”. Just a friends, I repeat in my brain, something I never thought I would say about Danny.

Carmilla doesn’t seem pleased with my answer. Her stare is scrutinizing, looking over me at the door. As if expecting Danny return, laughing manically ‘Mwahahah Laura and I were in a relationship all along’….. Okay that was probably not what she was thinking … Maybe I watch too much TV.

“This is bullshit…. I should have expected something like this” she throws on her parka in a huff, looking like a stroppy teenager whose just been told off. Walls securely back in place, muttering about, ‘I knew this was too good to be true’ as she skulked around the room looking for her bag. “I’m out of here”.

Ah yes the signature running away routine, how long had we lasted this time. 12 hours without her running off, a new record, I think to myself, watching her fumble with her shoes. This woman will be the end of me I think, pulling at my hair.

“Nope, nuh-uh” I stomp over to her, yanking a grubby shoe out of her hand “you are not pulling this again” and I fling it across to the other side of the room.

“What the fuck” she hisses, scrambling to her feet. We’re now standing almost nose to nose. Brows crinkled in rage and frustration. Both with our shoulders back and heads held high, squaring each other off. She’s a little unbalanced, standing there with one shoe on. I keep my cool, however I feel like a rabbit taking on a wolf. But this rabbit doesn’t take crap from anyone, not even angry sexy wolves.

“We are going to sit down and talk this out like fudging adults” I demand, trying my best to make the word fudging sound intimidating… or at least serious. I pull out two chairs and nod my head towards them. “No more running away when things get tough or too hard for you”.

Her eyes narrow and she draws a deep breath of air, but she reluctantly takes a seat.

“Okay” I sigh in relief, also sitting down. I sag into the chair, already feeling deflated. Ughh it’s only 1:23 and I already feel like going to bed…. Forever.

“What the fuck did you mean by rescheduling” aaaannnd she’s already out the gate with her questions before I can even take a breath.  

“I’m sorry Carmilla. I completely forgot about my date with Danny, we organised it before last night happened” I try to sound calm but on the inside my mind is screaming, if this… whatever this is between us is ruined… I don’t even want to think about that.

“You didn’t answer my question” she grits out “If last night… if last night was so special to you, like it was to-, why are you rescheduling another date with Bean stork!”

_‘Huh, yeah she does have a point you fudged up Laura’_ ‘shut up brain nobody asked you.

I’ve always wanted to date Danny, from the moment she first helped me out in class. Danny was an awesome person and an even better friend, I loved her. She was smart, funny… sexy, everything I would want in a girl. But the past few weeks, in the short time I’ve known Carmilla, I’ve felt myself… no longer thinking about Danny in that way. But she’s my friend and has done so much for me in the past… I didn’t want to do anything to ruin our friendship.

“Oh, well, I guess I didn’t want to you know. Hurt her feelings” I shrug, rubbing the back of my neck guiltily. God what a crappy response.

“Oh yeah nah, I get it, don’t want to hurt all-star athlete model student’s feelings, but mine don’t matter right, yeah I forgot, cos I’m just a whore. Silly me” she spits out and I physically flinch. There was so much venom in the way she calls herself a whore.

“No no Carmilla it’s not like that, and you know I don’t see you like that. And I don’t care if you’re a… um a, prostitute (I didn’t want to use the word she did), you’re so much more to me and I’d like to get know you, I want to know who Carmilla is, because from what I see she is a beautifully tragic woman who deep down has a lot of love in her”.

There are tears in her eyes when I finish. She won’t look at me, instead her head is drooped down, trying to hide her watery eyes, but I can see her shoulders shaking and hear her shuddering breaths. I hesitantly move from my chair, so that I am now kneeling on the ground in front of her. I reach out and touch her leg. Her head drops into her hands the moment I touch her, sobs racking her body. We say nothing, I simply rise and wrap my arms around her quivering body, holding her, holding her till her pain ebbs away. She struggles for a bit, trying to push me away, so I just hold her tighter, until she collapses into my embrace. I don’t know how long we stay like that, but after a while she pulls desperately at my shirt, dragging me closer, hands seizing me like her life depends on it. Her face is pressed into my stomach, her nose is wet and cold, I can feel it through the fabric.

She calms down slowly, sobs turning into wet hiccups, until she is silent once more. Her gaze is still down, now in shame and embarrassment, she still isn’t use to being vulnerable around others.

I return to kneeling, head tilted up to look at her downcast face, waiting for her to speak.

She mutters something softly that I don’t catch.

“what was that Carm” I ask sincerely, whispering the nickname Carm softly like a concerned lover would. I smile when she meets my gazes and she looks surprised at the name, but doesn’t mention it, instead closes her eyes once more and takes a deep breath.

 “Instead of going out with Pippi Longstocking…. Maybe you could, I dunno, go on a date… with me”

I laugh, beaming brightly up her.

Her eyes are red, nose snivelly and bottom lip quivering, too anyone she would look pathetic. But in that moment she looked so beautiful, I laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. One minute she’s crying in my arms, the next asking me out on a date.

“Yes” I whisper pressing my forehead to hers, as she takes in another shaky breath. She lets out a sob laugh and smile, and we rock our heads back and forth with each other.

Now all I needed to do was tell Danny…. Great.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wot am i doing with me life m8s hahaha  
> sorry if it sucks... probs does, also again sorry for the late update, i am the worst   
> any major grammatical issue that bother you, just tell me I'll fix it

**“Holy fuck” I groan, bucking my hips trying to get her deeper inside of me.**

**“Shh” she chuckles, leaning down, her hot breath on my collar “someone will hear”.**

**“F-uck” I bite down on my lip “I don’t car-e let them hear”.**

**She pauses briefly and our eyes meet. She flashes me a toothy smirk before lowering her head between my legs.**

 

 

Danny was not pleased with the cancelation of our date.

I met up with her after class that week, to break the news.

“It because of her, isn’t it” she said…. A lot, for some reason always wanting to steer the blame towards Carmilla.

I tried to assure her it wasn’t because of Carmilla, but Danny remained unconvinced.

“What do you even know about her Laura? She could hurt you” she exclaimed angrily, continuing to mutter “I knew there was something off about her”.

 Again I tried to convince Danny otherwise, failing miserably yet again. We left on negative terms, with Danny asking me not to talk to her for a while and me feeling guiltier than ever.

 

It didn’t help that Carmilla left the dorm two days later claiming that she had to ‘do some stuff’ and promised that she would be back. What that ‘stuff’ was I had no clue and she didn’t elaborate or divulge any details. I was reluctant to let her go, offering to go with her multiple times, but she said no.

So… I let her go, what else was I to do? Lock her up in the dorm? Prevent her from going anywhere because I was paranoid and worried for her safety. Honestly I did entertain the idea for a while. But no I couldn’t do that, it wouldn’t be right.

“I’m sure she’s fine L,” Laf tries to reassure me on the second night of Carmilla’s disappearance “Sit down, have a cookie and stop worrying”

“What? Worrying? I’m not worrying, I am doing the opposite of worrying, I am completely calm” I basically snap, trying to sound convincing, but I think biting my nails and walking in circles isn’t helping.

“Yeah totally calm” they nod with a patronising thumbs up “well I got lab till late tonight, but Per will be here to keep you company, later L”.

They open the door to leave and I can’t help but look outside to see if Carmilla is sulking around a corner, but she is nowhere to be found.

 

 

* * *

 

 

She doesn’t return till after dinner, with a bag slung over her shoulder and a small smile on her lips.

She tip toes into the room trying to be sneaky, but I haven’t left my all day long vigil in front of the door.

I fly into her arms almost immediately, nearly knocking her over. I hear a tsk tsk from Perry as she walks past me which I ignore. She disappears into the bathroom leaving me and Carmilla alone together.

“Where have you been” I ask pushing her messy hair out of her face.

“Around, just picking up some stuff and also” she pauses dramatically before whipping out a handful of money “Ta daaaaa”.

I stare blankly “Carm where did you get all that money?”

“I didn’t make it sucking dick if that’s what you’re thinking” she snaps.

To be honest, as awful as it sounds that was my first thought. I let out an internal brief sigh of relief, quelling my building jealously.

“No, No that’s not what I meant” I sigh, sometimes her defensiveness got frustrating.

“I got it for you, for our date, I-I, I wanted to take you somewhere nice” she stuffs the money back in pocket “Look it doesn’t matter where I got, it for you, well for us”.

Something about this whole situation seemed off. But I decided to let it slide…for now.

We are interrupted by Perry who emerges from the bathroom.

“Oh Carmilla. There’s some pasta in the microwave, I saved it for you” Perry beams, at the dark haired girl.

“Oh, yeah cool, thanks” Carmilla mutters.

I sit with her at the table whilst she eats, every now and again nicking a bit of spaghetti off her plate. But I don’t get much as she practically inhales her food, I was lucky not to lose a finger.

“So dinner, tomorrow night?” she says with a smirk trying to be cool, but a bit of pasta and sauce is stuck to the corner of the side her mouth.  

I ignore the waggling eyebrows and crooked smile, instead picking up a napkin and wiping her dumb face.

“Yes that sounds lovely” I say, wiping the last bit away.

She rubs her now clean face and throws me a mocking glare.

We head to bed early soon after dinner, and this time she doesn’t fight me on the sleeping arrangements.

The next day is spend mostly in bed… I skip class, I know ‘rebel alert’, Perry gives me a lecture about but she and Laf are gone for most of the day, so it’s just me and Carm.

We stay in our Pjs (Well my pjs) and just watch movies and play video games all day. For someone who has never played video games, Carmilla was… annoyingly good, she kept beating me in everything after like only her second go… maybe I just suck.

We skip lunch, opting to just eat cookies, under cooked pancakes and strawberries all day. Regretting our decision around 3 when the stomach aches kicked in.

 

We get… dressed up? I dunno if that’s the right term for us both wearing jeans and t shirts, but we get ready for our… date at around 6, Carmilla kept on asking me what she should wear stating she ‘didn’t want to make me look bad’. Sometimes her shyness and insecurities shock me.

“Anything is fine Carm” I reassure her, but she still makes me pick out her wardrobe for her. She keeps her ripped black jeans, because I don’t have any pants that fit her and I give her an old white long sleeved shirt my grandma got me, that like all things my grandma buys… was too big.

 

The cab comes to pick us up around 7.

We head off to a restaurant I’ve never heard of, but Carmilla said she’d always wanted to go there. Mention something about always standing outside and never going in.

We get a table near the window away from most of the other customers.

The restaurant is very laid back, mostly filled with other young people there, but even still Carmilla looks a little uncomfortable.

“So is this nice?” Carmilla says, her statement coming out as more of a question, like she’s looking for my approval. I can tell she’s nervous, by the way she keeps rubbing her palms against her ripped jeans.

“Yes Carm its lovely” I assure, taking her right hand. We hold hands against the table top until the waiter comes and asks us for our order.

Carmilla nudges me under the table and flashes me a nervous look, so I order for both of us.

We both get the risotto, which Carmilla doesn’t seem to enjoy all that much, smothering the entire meal in salt… then complaining about it being too salt, but she eats it all none the less… well after I give her a glare.

Dinner is wonderful, the food is on the meh side of okay, but Carmilla is… amazing. Never in my life have I ever been so captivated by someone. And she didn’t even speak much instead spending most of the evening silently listening to me. She seemed fine with me doing all the talking, and I just watched her, the way her lips moved, only slightly to smile, the way her eyebrows would rise and fall when she was confused or excited, the way her head moved back when she laughed… it was all so, surreal, like this was another life I had just awoken into.

Carmilla enjoys the dessert considerably more than the dinner, getting me to order us both massive bowls of chocolate ice cream.

She licks the spoon, savouring the taste, a cheeky grin on her face. Our eyes meet as she ghosts her tongue across the length of the spoon end. God she can even make eating chocolate ice cream look sexy, whilst I’m sitting here with chipmunk cheeks and food all over my mouth. I swallow my mouth full with a gulp and

I can feel heat pooling in my stomach and in-between my legs. I try hard not to squirm in my seat as I look around the packed restaurant.  

“I need to the bathroom” I say attempting to sound coy and subtle, she just quirks an eyebrow “Maybe you’d like to join me” I add, and all subtly flies out the window in a second… what can I say I’m not a patient person.

I get up first, hoping she doesn’t follow me too quickly, so people don’t get suspicious.

I wait to the point where I’m worried she won’t come (again, not a patient person).

The door opens and I hear “Laura?”

 

* * *

 

 

This seemed like a better idea in my head.

“You know we could have just waited till we got home” Carmilla chuckles in my ear. I feel her hands running through my hair.

“I don’t think I could’ve waited that long” I husked out, pressing my body into hers.

“Well this isn’t the worst place I’ve done it” she tries to joke, but instead makes me feel guilty, like I am forcing her to do this.

“Then maybe we shouldn’t, I mean if you’re uncomfortable” I begin to say, and push her off.

“Laura” she says calmly and kisses me on the cheek softly “I want this more than anything… that is if you do?”

All I can do it nod.

I wrap my arounds around her next and pull down into a kiss.

 

We kinda have to prance around awkwardly for a bit, too avoid the toilet. Finally we slam against the wall making a loud thudding noise, we stop immediately, both listening checking if anyone had heard us.

No has… thank god.

We don’t start out slow like the other times, instead she heads straight for my neck (I think she might have a thing for necks), ravaging me whilst I claw at her shirt… my shirt, almost ripping it.

Her hands are on my ass pulling me into her.

“Get rid of these” she hisses in my ear and begins to pull down my jeans.

I try to help, ending up awkwardly tugging them down, too eager, I almost elbow her in the face… she laughs when I try to apologise, kissing me roughly when I am done.

She trails her lips down my neck to my collar bone, roughly sucking on the skin, and then continuing her path down my body.

“Carm” I mutter, as she slowly pulls down my pants the rest of the way.

“Shhh” she laughs, pressing her face against my stomach as muffling her giggle so no one could hear.

“Keep going please” I whisper as I feel her pulling at my underwear.

The bathroom door opens just as her finger begin trace circles on my thighs, I expect her to stop at the sudden noise but she continues and I barely stifle my moan as her fingers finally reach their goal.

The voices outside the door stop for a minute at the sudden moan from my mouth and Carmilla once again has to press her face into my stomach to stop from laughing. The voices resume talking and I am once again at the mercy of Carmilla.

“Oh f-fudge” I bite down on my lip as her pace quickens, she stands up from her knees, her left hand still remaining buried inside me, whilst her free hand tangles in my hair pulling me into a kiss, silencing my moans.

She breaks apart with me still biting onto her lip. She gives me smirk as I let out another moan.

“Holy fuck” I groan, bucking my hips trying to get her deeper inside of me.

“Shh” she chuckles, leaning down, her hot breath on my collar “someone will hear”.

“F-uck” I bite down on my lip “I don’t car-e let them hear”.

She pauses briefly and our eyes meet. She flashes me a toothy smirk before lowering her head between my legs.

“Oh god” I groan out and I must have sounded like a dying whale because soon after we heard one of the voices say “Okay people are defiantly fucking in here, let’s go” followed by the door slamming.

“F-finally” I pant as the people leave. Carmilla just hums head still between my thighs, and I feel a body begin to tremble in ecstasy.

“Ahh, I’m close” I push my hips forward, I can feel her cold nose against my belly, and I know she’s smiling at my eagerness.

I’m almost there, when she stops.

“W-what?” I pant, “Don’t tease me” I groan again pushing my hips forward. She flashes me a coy smile.

“But it’s so fun” she teases, ghosting over my core with her warm breath.

“Fuck me” I practically growl, my hands splayed against the cubical wall.

“Hmm, say it again” she demands again lightly ghosting over me. This time slowly rubbing my clit with her fingers.

“Fuck me”

“Fuck me what?”

“Fuck me… please” I groan unable to take her teasing any longer.

She flashes me her devilish smile and that makes me melt every time.

I’m screaming by the time the next people walk in.

 

 

* * *

 

 

We end up getting kicked out, after some woman complains. Apparently having sex in public restrooms is something people frowned upon…. Who knew?

For someone who can’t even order a meal from a waiter Carmilla didn’t seemed phased as we were practically thrown out by an angry elder Italian chief. Heck we didn’t even end up paying.

Carmilla being her pleasant self, told him to go fuck himself in Italian, meaning we both had to run away before he beat out heads in with a rolling pin. I feel kinda bad… the poor guy even had a limp. But then again I think he may have murdered us if he had caught us.

We end up in a park, Carmilla grabbing on my hand as we run down the street. Our laughter echoing into the night.

“Oh m-my g-god” I pant as we finally stop “That was crazy”.

“Yeah he chased us for nearly three blocks, old arsehole” Carmilla laughs, flopping down onto the grass “Ewww I warn you it’s wet” she says.

“I like it wet” I purr trying to sound sexy, but sounding more like the creepy older manager at work that hits on his younger co-workers. I sit down next to her… and yes the grass is wet… ugh I can feel it soaking through my jeans.

“Hmmm talk dirty too me Laura” she lets out a fake lustful moan. She lunges at me, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me down on top of her.

“Shut up” I giggle, smack her shoulder.

Carmilla lets go of me and I roll over resting on her side, my head on her chest.

“Let’s lie here all night, under the stars… and get pneumonia” she smiles as we both start to shiver.

“Hmmmm romantic” I yawn tiredly, teeth chattering tiredly.

“You know me, the queen of romance…” there’s a bitter edge to her comment.

Her hand softly strokes up my arm and I pull myself closer to her.

“We should have brought jackets” she hums absentmindedly.

“I’m sure Perry will lecture us about it tomorrow, when we both come back with colds”

“Ah yes, curly mum will defiantly rip us a new one tomorrow morning, one for getting kicked out a restaurant and two for not being appropriately dressed for the occasion” she does her best Perry impression, which is actually pretty good.

“You should become a comedian” I joke.

“You know, they always did call me the whore with the mouth… actually now that I think about it, that probably wasn’t to do with my jokes”. She laughs at her joke, once again this empty laugh, but I don’t join in.

“I don’t like it when you do that” I admit, moving slightly away from her.

“Do what” she asks, but once again there’s defence tone.

“Joke about… stuff like that, you’re not a joke Carmilla, it makes me uncomfortable when you talk about it… like that” I try to be as gentle as possible, but I can tell she’s offended.

“Joking about is all I can do Laura… how else am I meant to deal? Just forget about everything, you don’t know anything about me, so don’t tell me what I can and can’t do” she snaps, now sitting up.

“You’re right I don’t know anything about you, maybe if you talked to me I would!” I yell.

“And what would I say Laura, how could you possibly understand!”

I let out a heavy sigh. “Look tonight has, has been great, let’s just go home and we’ll talk about it in the morning”

I get and walk away before she does, and head out onto the street to call a taxi.

We sit in the back of the taxi in silence, she refuses to look at me, instead looks out the window the whole ride.

When we get back, she decides to sleep on the couch and I don’t argue with her.

I don’t sleep well that night, my only thought is if Carmilla won’t talk to me, then maybe she’ll talk to a therapist.


	9. The Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I’m back from the dead. It been over 2 years… who knows when I will die again, but I feel bad for not finishing this, I will say Carmilla lost its charm for me after season 1 and I did not see the movie, so I don’t have a lot of inspiration for this, but I will try my best. I have some ideas about where I want this go, but its all abit fuzzy at the moment 
> 
> So yeah leave a review if you like
> 
> Also I would greatly appreciate if you check out my profiles, I'm currently writing a new fic and I got some ideas that I might be working on soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :D

Though it was her decision to sleep on the couch, Carmilla doesn’t hold back on her complaining the next morning. I make us both coffee in an attempt to soften Carmilla’s grumpy mood. Last night… didn’t end in the best of terms, perhaps I was a little too forward. But it isn’t all my fault, Carmilla can just be so… ughhh, frustrating.

She’s giving me the silent treatment, not even thanking me when I hand her her coffee. Laf and Perry I think must have sensed the tension and have made themselves scarce.

We sit in silence, the only noise the being the occasional slurp from our coffees. I tap my fingers along the table, earning me a glare from Carmilla.

Once she has finished her coffee she lets out a heavy sigh “I’m sorry” she mumbles “I- my behaviour last night, it was out of line”. Her forehead is furrowed, a small scar above her eyebrow stands out and I can tell apologising is hard for her.

“Yeah you were kind of a jerk” I say “But I guess I was a bit pushy as well”.

She brings her lips together into an awkward closed smile, but it is cute none the less.

“I was thinking about what you said, about you know… talking about stuff, I was thinking maybe that would be a good idea” her hands are resting flat on the table and I can feel her leg bouncing, she looks vulnerable, but also content, as if she was ready to start moving in a new direction.

I feel a sense of pride swell in my chest, but I remain silent, I don’t think Carmilla would appreciate me gushing over her.

Instead I just take her hand in mine and squeeze it lightly “I’m here for you whenever you want to talk”.

She lets out a heavy breath, somewhere between a sigh of relief and a sob, I open my arms and she accepts my hug willingly. Her shoulders shake and I can feel the back of my shirt getting a bit wet. I gently rub her back and let her cry. It is not a gut wrenching sob, but rather tears of respite, but I am glad she is opening up to me. I can even feel tears begin to sting the corners of my eyes as I pull her closer.

However the moment is ruined by my phone beeping.

“Ugh” I groan as we break apart, we were having such a nice moment. Carmilla quickly rubs her eyes, drying her tears.

I pull my phone out of my pocket, ready to silence the person who has disturbed us. Instead I feel my stomach drop.

 **Danny:** Where are you????

 **Danny:** You’re missing your essay!!

“Oh fudge” I leap up from the table, rushing over to my draws and whipping out a pair of jeans and a shirt.

“What’s wrong” Carmilla asks concern written all over her face.

“Essay, missing, now, going to fail” I puff out as I throw on my clothes.

Just before I rush out the door, I turn to Carmilla. “I know we were having a, well having a moment back then, but I gotta, ya know, sorry” I awkwardly thumb towards the door.

Carmilla smiles softly, and presses a kiss to my lips. “I understand cupcake”.

“Hmmm” I sigh into the kiss, I can feel my chest swell with new found confidence and gusto for the day.

“Cya later” I wink, just before rushing out the door.

 

* * *

 

 

The essay is brutal, I missed the first 20 minutes so I had the rush the conclusion, and I’m not even sure if I answered the question correctly. It didn’t help that Danny had eyed me down the whole time, she didn’t look mad exactly, but I could feel the tension rolling off her. When I handed my essay in, my professor shook his head.

“You weren’t at my last two lectures Laura” he tuts, eyeing my scribbly hand writing with distain “I recommend you go have a talk with the Dean, about your absences, and future at Silas, Danny has told me you have been very distracted lately”. He turns away from me before I can reply, indicating that this conversation was over.

I shoot Danny a glare as I walk out of the lecture hall, but she too does not look me in the eye.

I cannot decide if it is fortunate or unfortunate that the Dean’s office is one building away from lecture hall. On the plus side it is a short walk and on the negative side… it’s a short walk.

I won’t lie, the university Dean, scares the crud out of me. I’ve only seen her a handful of times, giving speeches at orientation days or events. She reminds me of a praying mantis, tall, thin and about 90% limbs. She one of those people who manages to look ancient but also younger than her age, as if she was sucking the youth out of the students around her. The mother from Caroline, that’s who she reminded me of. Let’s just pray she doesn’t try to replace my eyes with buttons… but from what I have heard about her reputation, I wouldn’t put it past her.

“Come in” comes the voice the Dean, before I can even knock on the door of her office. Okay she is a legit vampire. I awkwardly shuffle into her office, like a dog with its tail between its legs. “Um Professor Jefferson, said that I needed to speak with you” I gulp.

Her eyes are glued to some paper work in front of her, but she gestures absently towards a chair in front of her, so I assume she wants me to sit. I take a seat, and she still does not look up.

“Jefferson?” she finally says, almost like an annoyed sigh.

“Yes, he wanted me to talk to you about my- um absence from class recently” please don’t expel me please don’t expel me.

“Hmm, and how many classes have you missed”

Say one, say one, say one “um two and I was late for my examination today” I stutter out, dam my honesty.

Finally she looks up, her eyes hawk like and intense, but clearly bored at the situation. She waves her hand as if to say ‘And why should I care’.

“Hollis isn’t it” she says eying me up and down “Scholarship student right?”

I nod nervously.

“Hmmm” she muses, still eying me, like I was prey. “I find such issues as students missing class trivial, if you want to waste your own time and money that is not my problem, but Silas has a reputation to up hold”. She is now standing, I wonder if she going to break out into pacing, like some super villain explaining to me her villainous plans.

“I am sure your father would be very disappointed to hear you are throwing away your future” she smiles evilly at me, as if she is getting joy out of my situation. I swallow heavily and look down at my feet, as I await for my punishment.

“Look up when I speak to you” she demands, and my head immediately snaps up “now I am not going to punish you, Jefferson has always been one to over react to situations. But if you miss anymore lessons I will have no choice but to suspend you from the unit and you will have to wait until next year to sit your exams”.

I sit there silently dumbfounded.

“Do I make myself clear” she says, now standing directly over me.

I nod, I can feel my mouth hanging open like a fish. 

“Alright, now leave” she orders, flicking lazily at the door.

I scramble out of seat and quickly rush to the door.

Before I can leave the Dean speaks to me once more “Oh and Laura one more thing, could you tell my wayward daughter that her mother misses her”. Her eyes are once again glued to her paper work and before I can even ask what she is talking about she points at the door again. “Leave”.

 

* * *

 

 

Now I have never done drugs, but I can image this is what it is like the feel high, as I strut back to my dorm. I have survived my first encounter with the dean, without having my eyes ripped out and replaced with buttons. I barely even remember our whole talk, but it probably involved some fire breathing and the Dean turning into a giant snake.

I bump into a very burnt Laf in the hall way. They grimace at me as I approach.

“I will ask what happened to you in a second” I say “but first guess who just survived a meeting with the Dean” I smile smugly, holding up my thumbs to my face.

“Guess who survived a lab fire with only getting one eyebrow burnt off” they come back in a deadpan voice, point at their now missing left eyebrow.

“Let both agree we did something badass today”

“Agreed”

And with that we shake hands.

“Oh also, Carmilla may have helped me start the fire”

“What” I exclaiming, imagine Carmilla and all her beautiful hair being burnt off.

“You told me and Perry to welcome her into the gang, so I thought why not invite her along to my lab session, I dunno she could hold a beaker or something” they explained with a shrug “I was just trying to be nice, besides I’ve always wanted a lad assistant”.

“Yes, she can be the Igor to your Frankenstein” I huff entering our dorm.

Carmilla was lounging on the couch, with old episodes of Dr Who playing on the TV.

“Hey” she smiles slothfully up at me. I scan her face, eyebrows and hair seem intact.

“How was your essay” she asks me, now sitting up and pulling me down onto the couch next her.

“Oh you know, rocked up 20 minutes late, rushed everything and barely wrote a conclusion, so I probably failed” I shrug.

“Laura” her voice is soft, and her breath is warm against my neck “I’m sorry to hear that”.

“It okay… I was also sent to the Deans office, which was a total trip” I laugh, still slightly floating on that sweet ‘not being suspended’ high.

“The Dean” Carmilla whispers, suddenly looking very concerned, more concerned than I expected her to be.

“Yeah she was super scary, but it was no biggie” I shrug.

“Yeah… no biggie” Carmilla let go of me, and stared off to the side.

“You okay” I ask.

“Yeah, just tired” she flashed me an uncomfortable smile, and yawned. Hmmm I thought, she’s lying, I could tell by the way she wrung her hands together, but I decided to drop… for now.

“It only midday” I say “heard you and Laf had an incident in the lab today”

“Oh yeah” she chuckles “Yeah, your friend is insane”.

“Tell me something I don’t know” I think back to all the times Perry had to rush Laf to the University nurse, usually due to lab related incidents.

“Makes me kind of wish I went to University” She states flippantly, rolling over onto her back, propping her feet onto my lap.

“Well I mean, you’re still young you could” I suggest.

“Hmmm good one” she hums closing her eyes.

“I’m serious” I exclaim, taking her hands in mine.

She looks up at from her prone position, which looks utter ridiculous from my angle.

“Maybe” she mumbles trying to sound indifferent, but the shy smile on her face gives it away… she just needs someone to believe in her.

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of our day is spent lounging around the dorm, watching TV, kissing, cuddling, stuff that girlfriends do. Girlfriends, huh, I have never really thought about the word much, we hadn’t really officially even labelled ourselves anything. I had only known Carmilla for about 2 weeks now… perhaps girlfriends was a bit forward. Girlfriends did sound nice thoughhhh… No Laura.

But she was lying on my lap, and we were up to our 8th episode of Doctor Who in a row, and I was playing with her hair. I feel Carmilla’s head shift in my lap, as she looks up at me and shoots me a drowsy smile. I smile back and decide to drop the whole ‘girlfriend’ idea from my thoughts, we were happy right now, why ruin it?

“Come on get up” I say, its only 5pm and she’s already falling asleep.

“Noooo” she grumbles curling into me.

“Come on lets go out, go for a walk or something” I move her head off my lap and jump to my feet.

“You are an evil girl” she playfully glares at me.

“Come onnnnn” I say pulling her to her feet.

“Fine” she huffs as I hand her a coat.

 

The sun is just starting to set as we stroll around off campus. There is a small night market place across the street from the Uni that Perry and I often go to.

“You gotta try these donuts” I beam, thrusting a rainbow coloured donut into Carmilla’s hands.

“Ugh it so sticky” she complains, as a clump of frosting sticks to her thumb.

“Hmmm” I moan taking her thumb into my mouth and licking the icing off.

She stares at me dumbfounded for a second, before her eyes become sharp with arousal “You need to stop that” she husks “otherwise I might have to take you right here”.

“Hmph” comes an unamused voice, and I spot an elderly woman eying us with disgust. I feel my face grow hot as I mumble an awkward apology, Carmilla is just glaring at the older woman. I drag Carm away before she does something drastic… like throttle the woman.

“Old bitch” she hisses as we walk through the crowd.

I simply shrug, “Come on, there’s some awesome squid sticks you gotta try”.

We end up staying for over an hour. I buy Carmilla a black hoodie with a pair of cat eyes across the chest, and she complains about me spoiling her (it was only 15 dollars) but she put it on none the less. I also buy myself a hoodie, it’s blue with a raccoon on the front.

“I would complain about looking ridiculous, but I guess we look kind of cute” she says, taking my hand.

“Oh for sure” I laugh. We are now wandering around the fringes of the market, not really looking at the stalls anymore, just simply enjoying each-others company.

We find a patch of grass the sit on where we can see a group of street performers, playing some light jazz music.

“This is nice” I say, bumping my shoulder against Carms.

“Yeah it is” she sighs contently “Laura I want to tell you some stuff… about my life”

I sit up and face her, showing Carmilla that I am giving her my full attention. She takes a nervous, shuddering breath, I reach out and rest my hand on her thigh for support.

“My parents died when I was very young” She finally says, in a strained voice. She’s not looking directly at me, but I can see her eyes glancing over at me, to gauge my reaction.

I don’t say sorry for you loss, instead I settle with “I understand” in many ways I did, I had lost a parent too.

“I… I don’t remember much about them, sometime I think I remember their voices, or how they looked… but the memory never lasts long”.

She goes silent again, and perhaps that was all I was going to hear tonight, which I was okay with.

“My mum died when I was six” I say, “Sometimes I can’t remember things about her as well”.

Carmilla nods, and pull me into a hug. Neither of us cry, but a deep sadness washes over us, that we both can empathise with.

We lay there under the stars for a long time, quiet, simply holding each other. Sometimes there is nothing to be said, but I can feel something growing stronger in my heart.

Perhaps Carmilla can feel it too.


	10. Chapter 10

Hello everyone  
So sorry to do this  
But this will just be an authors note and not a new chapter  
I promise a new chapter will be out soon, and this fic is not dead yet 

However I would like to use this authors note as an opportunity to address, the problematic sides of this fic that myself and I'm sure some of you had noticed. I have recently been told that this fic trivialise sex workers, and I find myself agreeing. Perhaps I have taken too lightly the sex work industry, due to naiveity and the desire to write a compelling story, and for that I am sorry. However I am older now, and understand the world a little better (thanks uni...).

And to those of you who enjoy this fic, thank you so much, you are the reason I decided to write again.  
But I personally feel like this fic was written when I was a younger and less mature person, and I need to rework some things, no just for myself, but for the reader and the way I portray certain groups of people within society.

That might possibly mean going back to the start and adding more chapters and fleshing out the story more, in a more mature and respectful manner. Whether I will achieve this or not I am unsure. 

Again I am sorry if I offended anyone, it was not my intent, but I can understand how it could be intpreted that way.

Thanks for your patience, I know I'm not the best writer or the best at updating. 

So yeah, sorry for my rambling, new chapter will hopefully be out in the next week or so :)


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